I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
