I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
