I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We talked him into tasing himself.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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