I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
