so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
