I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
