It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
