Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
