He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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