So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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