Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize
