yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
