i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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