Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
