you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
