Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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