I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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