dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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