so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
