Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
