Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
