It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
