dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
