You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
