You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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