Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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