her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
