Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
