Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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