I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
