Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
BRING THE BAGELS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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