i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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