dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
