Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
