her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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