I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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