I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
