My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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