His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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