The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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