I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
