no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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