return my video game
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
