wakey wakey hands off snakey
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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