I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
