hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
