You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Randomize
