i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
