Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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