Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
