what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
