there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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