he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
