If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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