You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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