HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dick very happy bro
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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