New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
