Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
