Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
