I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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