She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
